Tachyon Redux
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It all began in the Summer of 2003, when a young skateboard enthusiast named Mall "Marmot" McNab decided to try his hand at orchid hunting. While deep in the jungles of New Guinea, Mall happened upon a strange metallic object in the undergrowth. Upon returning to his home town of Winnipeg, Mall turned the object over to the archeology department at the University of West Kildonan. Department Head Dr. Michael Vanderhausen quickly realized the importance of the object, and an expedition to New Guinea was organized.

Though plagued with many difficulties (several of the team's personal belongings were lost in a mudslide, and five archeology students were killed and eaten by members of the Korowai tribe), the unprecedented wealth of archeological and technological material discovered lead the expedition leaders to declare the venture a total success.

A mere two months after the team's arrival in New Guinea, the University of West Kildonan began receiving reports of a 1400 square foot laboratory buried deep beneath the New Guinea jungle. Though carbon dating showed the substrate surrounding the laboratory to be over 8,000 years old, the laboratory and its contents tested anywhere from 100 to as few as 2 years of age. Evidence of tachyon particles within the laboratory suggested that the age discrepancy may have something to do with the manipulation of time itself. It was even suggested that the laboratory may be generating its own stasis field of sorts, literally freezing time for whatever - and theoretically whoever - was in the lab.

The objects within the lab were no less amazing than the lab itself. Obviously the result of technologies much more advanced than ours, the devices in the lab baffled scientists with their mysteries while charming them with their beauty and artistry. Indeed most of the devices show some attention to aesthetics, with certain aspects appearing to be purely decorative. One of the most unusual aspects of the technology is that it combines older, antiquated parts with modern ones, some of which can easily be found at your local hardware store. Even more unusual, some of the newer materials appear to have been painted or treated to look older, perhaps as part of the aesthetics mentioned earlier.

As for function, the team's engineers postulated several theories regarding the devices' intended use. The only thing they could deduce for certain, however, was that many of the devices lit up when you turned them on.

Five months into the team's study of the lab and its contents, the expedition was abruptly and mysteriously hijacked by multinational conglomerate Global Pomeratech Limited. For the next two months, Global Pomeratech worked in total secrecy, until September 27th 2006, when news was leaked that one of the company's leading scientists, Frank Deleuws, had died in a mishap at the site. Rumours circulated of the existence of a video diary which showed an insane Deleuws raving about "Time Hiccups", "Dopplegangers" and "Mutually Interfering Alternate Universes".

Shortly thereafter, the expedition was shut down and the laboratory site sealed. No further information surfaced from the expedition during the next two and a half years, despite numerous attempts by corporations and world governments to gain access to the strange technology.

In March of 2009, Godfried Zoomfeld, President and CEO of Global Pomeratech, passed away, leaving his estate to his sons Zachary and Milton. Having no interest in continuing the family business, the two young men immediately liquidated the estate, which included the contents of a rented storage shed in Moosejaw, Manitoba.

After changing hands several times, said contents ended up in a community garage sale in Brandon, Manitoba. There, Dr. Michael Vanderhausen's niece, Jeannine Clayborne-Vanderhausen, discovered several items which matched her uncle's description of the artifacts he had seen in New Guinea. After a heated bargaining session with the garage-sale organizers, Mrs. Clayborne-Vanderhausen managed to purchase all but one of the items, which she promptly had couriered to her uncle in Winnipeg.

Dr. Vanderhausen, who had since resigned his position at the University of West Kildonan to pursue a career in writing, organized a touring exhibit of the artifacts in the hopes of sharing these wonderful discoveries with the public before they were once again confiscated by, as he put it, "some bloated, bottom-feeding excremental corporation run by morally bankrupt foul-smelling ninnies".